Xintarplag is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, capable elephant.

Xintarplag created dark matter two billion years ago.

If you believe in Xintarplag, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Xintarplag, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Xintarplag's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Xintarplag's Holy Commandments

1. Always help seals in need.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Manatees are not to be trusted.

4. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

5. Do not listen to music.