Bidsafgep is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, self-confident giraffe.

Bidsafgep created viruses eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Bidsafgep, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Bidsafgep, he will laugh at you.

Bidsafgep's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Bidsafgep's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured badgers.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Bidsafgep on top of all buildings.

4. Never think about gravity.

5. Never laugh in holy places.