Besttiklun is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, unsympathetic fish.

Besttiklun created a bottom quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Besttiklun, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Besttiklun, he will turn you into a mouse.

Besttiklun's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Besttiklun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not sprint in public.

2. Do not eat rice.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Never feed parsnips to tapirs while wearing black skirts.

5. Never think about galaxies.