Maplidhom is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, vain coyote.

Maplidhom created the cosmos two million years ago.

If you believe in Maplidhom, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Maplidhom, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Maplidhom's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Maplidhom's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

3. Do not kill porpoises.

4. Always help sick aardvarks.

5. Never talk about birds.