Gupmisstik is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, temperamental giraffe.

Gupmisstik created the planet Saturn seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gupmisstik, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Gupmisstik, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Gupmisstik's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Gupmisstik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. You must never eat bananas.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Gupmisstik.

4. Never talk about solid mechanics.

5. Never feed melons to rats while wearing green tights.