Tenpomtad is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, contented porpoise.

Tenpomtad created the planet Saturn four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tenpomtad, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Tenpomtad, she will turn you into a puffin.

Tenpomtad's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Tenpomtad's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Always help sick shrews.

3. You must love Tenpomtad.

4. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Do not stand on grass.