Padrowced is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, vain lobster.

Padrowced created the Andromeda Galaxy three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Padrowced, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Padrowced, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Padrowced's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Padrowced's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about optics.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Worship no other gods but Padrowced.

4. Never talk about gravity near rats while wearing fawn scarves.

5. Do not wear orange clothing.