Zodmanwabhunwikmethub is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, idiotic gorilla.

Zodmanwabhunwikmethub created a Higgs boson eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zodmanwabhunwikmethub, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Zodmanwabhunwikmethub, he will ignore you.

Zodmanwabhunwikmethub's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Zodmanwabhunwikmethub's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about chlorophyll.

2. You must love Zodmanwabhunwikmethub.

3. Do not speak about rice.

4. Always help sick doves.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.