Fasbinyamgeb is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, idiotic salamander.

Fasbinyamgeb created carbon seven million years ago.

If you believe in Fasbinyamgeb, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Fasbinyamgeb, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Fasbinyamgeb's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Fasbinyamgeb's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Fasbinyamgeb seven times a day.

2. Always wear red.

3. You must love Fasbinyamgeb.

4. Do not shave your hands.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.