Tapsasbum is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, passionate fairy.

Tapsasbum created parasitic wasps six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tapsasbum, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tapsasbum, it will turn you into a slug.

Tapsasbum's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Tapsasbum's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about photosynthesis.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Always make sure there are no sheep in a room before entering it.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.