Kenwipmuthabveen is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, cheerful eagle.

Kenwipmuthabveen created the planet Earth nine million years ago.

If you believe in Kenwipmuthabveen, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Kenwipmuthabveen, he will turn you into a duck.

Kenwipmuthabveen's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Kenwipmuthabveen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in red rooms.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Never paint your head black.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.