Badjonmid Ratvanmon is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, kind dove.

Badjonmid Ratvanmon created the planet Jupiter eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Badjonmid Ratvanmon, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Badjonmid Ratvanmon, he will have a low opinion of you.

Badjonmid Ratvanmon's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Badjonmid Ratvanmon's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate tapirs.

2. Worship no other gods but Badjonmid Ratvanmon.

3. Run away from violet snakes, for they are unholy.

4. Never bounce near gulls.

5. Never look in ponds.