Bonkwiknig is a god.

He takes the form of a small, awe-inspiring salamander.

Bonkwiknig created the Sol system two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bonkwiknig, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Bonkwiknig, he will have a low opinion of you.

Bonkwiknig's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Bonkwiknig's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Bonkwiknig.

2. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near pigs while wearing purple shorts.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Do not wear violet clothing.

5. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.