Pigdamlamlarn is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, awesome guinea pig.

Pigdamlamlarn created a photon nine million years ago.

If you believe in Pigdamlamlarn, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Pigdamlamlarn, he will think nothing of it.

Pigdamlamlarn's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Pigdamlamlarn's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Never feed carrots to grasshopers while wearing boots.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Pigdamlamlarn.

4. Always help badgers in need.

5. Do not wear silver on your body.