Fligbanstan is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, strong pig.

Fligbanstan created carbon three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fligbanstan, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Fligbanstan, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Fligbanstan's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Fligbanstan's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Put Fligbanstan first in all things.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Do not trade with those who eat figs.