Tomsinbigbummonsittapbim is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, ruthless gnu.

Tomsinbigbummonsittapbim created silver two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tomsinbigbummonsittapbim, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Tomsinbigbummonsittapbim, she will turn you into a snail.

Tomsinbigbummonsittapbim's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Tomsinbigbummonsittapbim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep nine birds in a large pit.

2. Hide if three tapirs approach from the west.

3. Worship no other gods but Tomsinbigbummonsittapbim.

4. Never think about electromagnetism.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Tomsinbigbummonsittapbim.