Cunarmvil Rutthomlist is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, sapient giraffe.

Cunarmvil Rutthomlist created matter eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cunarmvil Rutthomlist, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Cunarmvil Rutthomlist, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Cunarmvil Rutthomlist's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Cunarmvil Rutthomlist's Holy Commandments

1. Seals are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Never feed cucumbers to moths while wearing blue shorts.

3. Do not run in public.

4. Do not take Cunarmvil Rutthomlist's name in vain.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Cunarmvil Rutthomlist.