Hatfomten is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, astonishing centipede.

Hatfomten created a bottom quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hatfomten, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Hatfomten, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Hatfomten's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Hatfomten's Holy Commandments

1. Voles are not to be trusted.

2. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Hatfomten.

4. Do not bounce in public.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.