Henparkrip is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, selfish seal.

Henparkrip created the planet Venus seven million years ago.

If you believe in Henparkrip, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Henparkrip, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Henparkrip's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Henparkrip's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate swans.

2. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Fast once a month.