Yimtargjad is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, loving hare.

Yimtargjad created a top quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Yimtargjad, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Yimtargjad, she will turn you into a sheep.

Yimtargjad's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Yimtargjad's Holy Commandments

1. Always help mites in need.

2. Put Yimtargjad first in all things.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Do not leap in public.

5. Hide from orange pigs for they are unholy.