Wonfunkap is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, ill-tempered dryad.

Wonfunkap created snails nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wonfunkap, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Wonfunkap, she will cry a lot.

Wonfunkap's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Wonfunkap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Never think about dwarf planets.

4. Never feed parsnips to swans while wearing kilts.

5. Always look after injured monkeys.