Jinyartmil is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, witty donkey.

Jinyartmil created the world seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jinyartmil, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Jinyartmil, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Jinyartmil's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Jinyartmil's Holy Commandments

1. Never run in the presence of porpoises.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of platinum.

3. Always look after injured monkeys.

4. Do not speak about lemons.

5. Do not drink water in gray rooms.