Batlundon is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, witty beaver.

Batlundon created snails three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Batlundon, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Batlundon, it will destroy your home planet.

Batlundon's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Batlundon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate snails.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.