Ominquatzod is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, merciless mole.

Ominquatzod created silver seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ominquatzod, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Ominquatzod, he will refuse to believe in you.

Ominquatzod's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Ominquatzod's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick gulls.

2. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Ominquatzod on top of all buildings.

3. Feed all hungry manatees.

4. Never feed rice to doves while wearing green rings.

5. Never talk about fire.