Ditbassbed is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, witty crocodile.

Ditbassbed created carbon three billion years ago.

If you believe in Ditbassbed, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Ditbassbed, it will destroy your home planet.

Ditbassbed's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Ditbassbed's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of limes to rats while wearing green tights.

2. Do not speak about coconuts.

3. Learn eight new languages a year.

4. Always help horses in need.

5. Never talk about dolphins.