Gubzansis is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, unthoughtful hyena.

Gubzansis created an up quark twelve years ago.

If you believe in Gubzansis, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gubzansis, she will turn you into a sheep.

Gubzansis' most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Gubzansis' Holy Commandments

1. Run away from red mites, for they are unholy.

2. Never feed parsnips to manatees while wearing black scarves.

3. Do not speak about corn.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Gubzansis loves great tits, so they must be honoured.