Rutsabgut is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, omniscient gnu.

Rutsabgut created everything that exists six million years ago.

If you believe in Rutsabgut, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Rutsabgut, he will boil you in a big pot.

Rutsabgut's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Rutsabgut's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the west.

2. Always wear cyan.

3. Do not keep four nematodes in a large pit.

4. Hide if five snakes approach from the east.

5. Never talk about pigs.