Tettimissad is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, loving hydra.

Tettimissad created a Higgs boson four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tettimissad, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Tettimissad, it will attempt to scare you with floods.

Tettimissad's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Tettimissad's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant orange sculpture of Tettimissad in the centre of the settlement.

2. Worship no other gods but Tettimissad.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Always help porpoises in need.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Tettimissad.