Tettistafflis is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, amazing warg.

Tettistafflis created a charm quark three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tettistafflis, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Tettistafflis, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Tettistafflis' most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Tettistafflis' Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. You must never eat bananas.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Feed all hungry doves.