Bitzangatjadfonjinjinvonk Dantunvad is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, thoughtless dog.

Bitzangatjadfonjinjinvonk Dantunvad created an electron nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bitzangatjadfonjinjinvonk Dantunvad, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Bitzangatjadfonjinjinvonk Dantunvad, it will make you grow a tail.

Bitzangatjadfonjinjinvonk Dantunvad's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Bitzangatjadfonjinjinvonk Dantunvad's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Draw representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Erect a large platinum sculpture of Bitzangatjadfonjinjinvonk Dantunvad on top of all buildings.