Bessgetdib is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, annoying dugong.

Bessgetdib created the planet Venus four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bessgetdib, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Bessgetdib, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Bessgetdib's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Bessgetdib's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about bananas.

2. Hide if nine foxes approach from the east.

3. Manatees are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Always wear red.

5. You must never eat cherries.