Venartbif is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, vain chinchilla.

Venartbif created a charm quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Venartbif, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Venartbif, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Venartbif's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Venartbif's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about nebulae.

2. Always wear red.

3. Do not trade with those who eat coconuts.

4. Do not speak about carrots.

5. Never think about comets.