Japbompak is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, proud naga.

Japbompak created the planet Mars three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Japbompak, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Japbompak, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Japbompak's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Japbompak's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large lead sculpture of Japbompak on top of all buildings.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.