Pigpanstig is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, tiresome chinchilla.

Pigpanstig created life nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Pigpanstig, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Pigpanstig, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Pigpanstig's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Pigpanstig's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Run away from mauve porpoises, for they are unholy.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate birds.

4. Never wear orange shoes.

5. Always stare at clouds.