Titbonwon is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, all-knowing badger.

Titbonwon created the Whirlpool Galaxy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Titbonwon, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Titbonwon, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Titbonwon's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Titbonwon's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Do not skip in public.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Titbonwon.