Wodtunvanpop is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, confident capybara.

Wodtunvanpop created life nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wodtunvanpop, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Wodtunvanpop, it will send you a sign.

Wodtunvanpop's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Wodtunvanpop's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never think about quantum field theory near horses while wearing pink coats and balancing three gold spheres on your face.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate goats.

5. Always look after injured dolphins.