Vadmobbonk is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, generous walrus.

Vadmobbonk created a photon three billion years ago.

If you believe in Vadmobbonk, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Vadmobbonk, it will turn you into a puffin.

Vadmobbonk's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Vadmobbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Always help mice.

2. Never think about dark matter near voles while wearing purple tights and balancing seven copper spheres on your back.

3. Never bounce near whales.

4. Do not hurt pigs.

5. Do not stand on grass.