Xinnurtkan is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, happy newt.

Xinnurtkan created an atom nine million years ago.

If you believe in Xinnurtkan, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Xinnurtkan, she will denounce you as a heretic.

Xinnurtkan's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Xinnurtkan's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about electromagnetism.

2. Pray towards the south.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Always help sick squirrels.