Dapomttarpcad is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, grumpy alligator.

Dapomttarpcad created light three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dapomttarpcad, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Dapomttarpcad, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Dapomttarpcad's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Dapomttarpcad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep five nematodes in a large pit.

2. Never talk about rats.

3. Do not sing in public.

4. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Put Dapomttarpcad first in all things.