Vonsadhitmutfitcatsaktag is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, omnipotent donkey.

Vonsadhitmutfitcatsaktag created the Milkyway two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vonsadhitmutfitcatsaktag, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Vonsadhitmutfitcatsaktag, he will curse you with boils.

Vonsadhitmutfitcatsaktag's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Vonsadhitmutfitcatsaktag's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about planets.

2. Always make sure there are no badgers in a building before entering it.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

5. Do not wear magenta clothing.