Hasrildonlam is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, humorless gnu.

Hasrildonlam created dark energy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hasrildonlam, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Hasrildonlam, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Hasrildonlam's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Hasrildonlam's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at planets.

2. Always make sure there are no nematodes in a room before entering it.

3. Do not eat wheat.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Never talk about cats.