Tinpaktadrak is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, happy jellyfish.

Tinpaktadrak created the Large Magellanic Cloud three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tinpaktadrak, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Tinpaktadrak, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Tinpaktadrak's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Tinpaktadrak's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Never think ill of sick tortoises.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Tinpaktadrak.

5. Do not drink alcohol.