Loopnutfid Quatbadstig is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, annoying armadillo.

Loopnutfid Quatbadstig created matter nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Loopnutfid Quatbadstig, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Loopnutfid Quatbadstig, she will be very sad.

Loopnutfid Quatbadstig's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Loopnutfid Quatbadstig's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured ants.

2. You must pray to Loopnutfid Quatbadstig four times a day.

3. Never write about cell theory.

4. Never sing in holy places.

5. Never pour water over plants.