Didhapbess is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, charitable tortoise.

Didhapbess created a charm quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Didhapbess, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Didhapbess, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Didhapbess' most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Didhapbess' Holy Commandments

1. Do not jump in public.

2. Never hurt pigs.

3. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate frogs.