Mapratbon is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, uncaring squid.

Mapratbon created the planet Mars four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Mapratbon, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Mapratbon, he will jump up and down on your head.

Mapratbon's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Mapratbon's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry whales.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Mapratbon.

3. Never talk about snakes.

4. Never write about nebulae.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.