Quartlimmid Dunnegcar is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, selfish shrew.

Quartlimmid Dunnegcar created the planet Venus three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quartlimmid Dunnegcar, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Quartlimmid Dunnegcar, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Quartlimmid Dunnegcar's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Quartlimmid Dunnegcar's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Never wear white rings.

3. Never think about thermodynamics.

4. Learn nine new languages a year.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate moths.