Zaknabvon is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, awesome donkey.

Zaknabvon created energy seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zaknabvon, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Zaknabvon, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Zaknabvon's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Zaknabvon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Never write about optics.

4. Never eat strawberries.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.