Fubgondoss is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, caring tortoise.

Fubgondoss created dark energy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fubgondoss, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Fubgondoss, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Fubgondoss' most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Fubgondoss' Holy Commandments

1. Great tits are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Do not bounce in public.

4. Feed all hungry nematodes.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.