Gessbosstagmankikcembetdim is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, benevolent troll.

Gessbosstagmankikcembetdim created the Sol system nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Gessbosstagmankikcembetdim, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Gessbosstagmankikcembetdim, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Gessbosstagmankikcembetdim's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Gessbosstagmankikcembetdim's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no foxes in a building before entering it.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never write about comets.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.