Vagjamhim is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, proud squirrel.

Vagjamhim created humankind nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vagjamhim, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Vagjamhim, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Vagjamhim's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Vagjamhim's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Never go into purple rooms.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Vagjamhim.

5. Respect your elders.